Countdowns

I just upgraded to Windows7, trying it out til its official release in October, or at least until I get home and invest in a new laptop since the one I have is getting old and beat up, especially with all the sand and dust here.

Since I am starting fresh on my computer, I was looking for a couple desktop gadgets to replace the ones I had used previously (weather, calendars, cpu monitor, etc.) and came across the "Blogger Buddy" which is a gadget that I can create new posts direct from my desktop and don't have to use my browser to post new posts. So I am trying it out.

I also have a few countdowns which I've got gadgets going for that are rather exciting, especially since there are 2 coming up rather quickly:

8 days, 9 hours, 27 minutes until the Promotion Board.
17 days, 1 hour, 27 minutes until my flight day for R&R!
and somewhere in the neighborhood of 114 days until we redeploy from Iraq.

I am anxiously making preparations for my R&R trip to London, Paris, and Rome, and definitely getting more excited every day!


Ok, I just wanted to share the excitement, but I better get back to studying! (or sleeping, as the case will hopefully be!)

The only problem I forsee of this gadget so far is that I can't post pictures through it. But otherwise, its pretty convenient! I like!

A Flower in the Desert

This article has not yet been published in the TFTB newsletter, and I'm not sure if it will be, but its my favorite article I've written so far. I am having trouble uploading pics to my blog, but if you are my friend on facebook, I have an entire album dedicated to this story. I will try to post a few pics on here later.

I’m an architecture nut. When I get to see old buildings, especially churches and monasteries, I love to explore every crack and crevice, trying to determine which rooms were used for what purpose, how people lived, and all that. And I take lots of pictures. Ask my grandmother who took me to Portugal a few years ago, and witnessed this as we toured countless churches and monasteries. I took about 1000 pictures in one week exploring only a small fraction of the country’s historic buildings. (see my facebook for all the good pics, there are 3 or 4 albums from that trip!) And only a handful of them actually had people in them. As I prepared for this deployment, CH F often asked me, are you bringing your camera? It’s not the greatest, but I brought it. Then I was issued a much nicer one to use throughout our travels, and I have definitely been putting it to good use. I had expected most pictures would be the standard group shots, and candid shots of soldiers doing crazy things or the Chaplain praying with groups getting ready to roll out on mission. I envisioned the backdrops would be the standard: dust, trash, and maybe some with the vehicles we drive out in. I know I’m not alone in that presumption, I mean, we’re in the desert, what else could there be here?

A couple months ago, CH F and I were traveling by Chinook to visit the guys in from one of our companies. Some dust kicked up along the way, and we ended up staying overnight at COS Marez and did not make it to visit our Soldiers. Since we were there, we looked up our comrades in our sister battalion, CH P and SGT D. They were surprised to see us, but offered to take some time that afternoon to show us around, and they insisted that we had to see “the monastery”. I was confused. Iraq is an Arabic country, what kind of monastery were we going to see on a FOB in the middle of the desert. Now, don’t get me wrong, I know that not all Iraqis are Muslim, and that before Desert Storm, there were some 1 million Christians throughout Iraq, but I was just not expecting to see a monastery in the middle of a military base.
As we made our way to the monastery, CH P and SGT D gave us a little background to the monastery, which I later did some research to remember the details. It was recognized for what it was shortly after the 101^st Airborne Division ousted the Iraqi Republican Guard from the area and had themselves taken up residence within the fortress-like ruins. One of the Division’s Chaplains recognized it as an ancient monastery, and after some research, discovered that it was Dair Mar Elia (the Monastery of Saint Elijah), the oldest Christian monastery in Iraq, with a history dating back to the 6^th century. It was built by Assyrian monks, but at some point it was taken over by Chaldean Catholic monks. It served as a residence and place of worship for about 11 centuries. The surrounding lands suggest that is was once a verdant pasture and the monks most likely harvested food to support themselves and the local community. Monastic communities follow this model even today, seeking to remain self-sufficient and offer the excess to their local communities. The monastery was thriving until 1743 when Persian invaders ordered the monks to leave. Probably 150 monks resided there at the time, and when they all refused to leave, the Persian leader had them slain, and nearly destroyed the buildings. It was used as a refugee center after World War I, and was incorporated into the Iraqi Republican Guard base in the 1970s. At that point, the monastery practically fell off the radar of the school of archaeology at the University of Mosul, and its history was left to the oral tradition of another local monastery, Al Qosh.

From my experience exploring monasteries in Europe, the tradition was to have a fortress like outer wall to prevent invasion and persecution from the outside community, and offer peace and privacy for the monks as they went through their daily routines of prayer and work. What remains of Saint Elijah Monastery shows that it was built according to the same concept. While the monks themselves did not withstand the invasion of the Persians, what remains of the monastery has withstood being in the center of a major battle in the 2003 invasion of Iraq. As the US assaulted the Iraqi Republican Guard, they fired a missile at one of the Iraqis’ Russian tanks, blowing the turret off the top and into the side wall of the monastery’s chapel. The outside of the wall suffered damage, but the point of impact is not even noticeable from within the chapel itself. In fact, the chapel is almost the only large room of the monastery that is still mostly intact. The Scriptorium’s roof has collapsed in, and all the smaller cells have cracks in the ceilings. Even the Abbot’s office is missing parts of its ceiling. The only major damage to the chapel itself is a large crack where the ceiling is beginning to separate from the wall above the sanctuary and looters have come through and taken most of the priceless artifacts from it.

Visiting the monastery, I loved every minute, poking into all the rooms, trying to guess what its purpose would have been, kitchen, refectory, observatory, bedroom “cell”, etc, discussing the history of monasticism, and taking pictures. Lots of pictures. As I sit back and reflect on my experience there, I can’t help but equate this monastery to an ancient story told by Loki, a member of the Sioux nation, of a flower in the desert:

“There was a young flower in the desert where all was dry and sad looking...It was growing by itself...enjoying every day...and saying to the sun "When shall I be grown up"? And the sun would say "Be patient"---Each time I touch you, you grow a little"...And she was so pleased. Because she would have a chance to bring beauty to this corner of sand...And this is all she wanted to do---bring a little bit of beauty to this world. One day the hunter came by---and stepped on her.---She was going to die---and she felt so sad. Not because she was dying ---but because she would not have a chance to bring a little bit of beauty to this corner of the desert. The Great Spirit saw her, and was listening.---Indeed, he said ...She should be living...And he reached down and touched her---and gave her life. And she grew up to be a beautiful flower...and this corner of the desert became so beautiful because of her.”

Each week the chaplains offer tours of the monastery to those interested, as an opportunity for Soldiers to put a human face on Iraq, to help encourage respect for the Iraqi people as they see tangible evidence of the history and traditions of this country. Saint Elijah Monastery is that flower in the desert for each of these Soldiers, displaying the beauty of its history and tradition even from within its ruins. As we pass through the walls, we are able to envision the monks living there, listen to their stories whispered through the walls. We can walk away from our visit with a deeper appreciation for the beauty that has been poured out on this monastery and the surrounding countryside, and a hope for a brighter future in this war-torn country.

Games for the Soul

Ok, I'm gonna be posting these all out of order as I find them...

Games For the Soul
Task Force Trailblazer Newsletter #13 June 26, 2009

David McKay once said, “The most important of life‟s battles is the one we fight daily in the silent chambers of the soul.” For the past several months, Big Army and the Chaplain‟s Corps have been taking great strides to help soldiers be victorious in this very battle because it has be-come clear that soldiers who are not able to take care of the battles within themselves and their families will not be effective on the physical battlefields of war. The TFTB Religious Support Team is entirely committed to helping every soldier in TFTB win this very battle within themselves. By now, every soldier here most likely knows who we are, and that we are here for them and care for them. Our mission goes a lot farther than making sure that soldiers have the religious support they need to practice whatever faith they choose to follow. We are also here for soldiers who are struggling with the stresses of being here, being away from family and friends. A lot of that is seen through our ministry of presence and through one-on-one counseling with the Chaplain. But we also take a step further to try to offer opportunities for soldiers to decompress, such as the movie nights that were discussed in a previous newsletter. We also host “game nights” once a month, offering a space for officers, NCOs, and junior enlisted to level the playing field for a couple hours and decompress from their individual stressors and just try to enjoy the moment. We have several games here in Lahmann Hall; board games, card games, trivia games, and several others, but it seems that Monopoly and Phase 10 have become the battalion favorites. I'm not surprised at the choices, as these were also among the favorites of my friends in college when we needed a chance to decompress from all of our studying and paper writing. Although we have not had swarms of people attending these game nights like some of our movie nights, I'm sure that those who do come would admit that they enjoy themselves. It may not seem like stress relief as we are playing a simple game of Phase 10 and jovial threats are made across the table from someone who needed just one more card to finish her phase when someone else “phased out” and ended the round, leaving her a phase behind and 70 points ahead. Or when we just can't seem to get through the first phase while everyone else is racing towards the 10th phase. And then there's the frustration of the monopoly game where we build up Boardwalk and Park Place only to have our opponents land on “Luxury Tax” every time they come to that side of the board. But in the end, no matter who wins, or how many times our turns were strategically skipped just because we were winning, we are all smiling and unconcerned with having lost our fortunes just because we landed on Boardwalk one too many times. For a moment, we are not worrying about whatever stresses we have going on at work. And then, when it's all said and done, and we wake up to the daily rituals of our jobs, we have a little bit more of a fighting chance in that battle within the silent chambers of our soul.

Half-Way Home

Welp, I just realized that its been about 4 months since I touched my blog, but upon encouragement from a fellow 56M, I've decided to make the effort to get back into posting. Who knows, maybe this will help me relieve a little stress and get through the rest of our deployment. We are just past the half-way mark, actually, we're almost to the 2/3 mark :), but I'm going to start my new posts with some of the articles I've written for/published in our Battalion newsletter, so those on my email list have probably already read most of these, except the ones that haven't been published, but for those who haven't, here they are, beginning with the second one since I don't currently have access to the first on this computer.

Chaplain’s Message
TFTB Newsletter #6 March 8, 2009
From the earliest of times, having a place to gather has been critical to members of any faith community. In Genesis, Jacob recognized the presence of God in the place where he was, saying, “How awesome is this place! This is none other than the house of God; this is the gate of heaven.” He set up a memorial at the place, saying, “this memorial pillar I have set up will become a place for worshipping God” (Genesis 28:17,22). In the Gospel, we read of the time Jesus was separated from Mary and Joseph and they finally found him in the Temple speaking with the elders. He responded to their cries of joy at finding him, “Did you not know that I had to be in my Father’s House?” (Luke 2:49) Even as we have come to this place, the Sappers before us recognized the need for a gathering place. They decided to build a multipurpose hall with a pri-mary purpose in mind for it: to house a Chapel for themselves and those that would follow them to use as a place of worship, a place for joyful praises and thanksgiving, and a place for quiet refuge amidst the storms of war. This hall is known as Lahmann Hall, named for one of the Sapper Eagles’ own, CPL Johnathan Lahmann, a combat engineer who was killed in action in December 2007. It is military tradition to name build-ings, ships, hospitals and posts after a service member who has made the ultimate sacrifice for their country to honor them and as a reminder of who and what we are fighting for. 326th Engineer Battalion saw fit to honor their brother in the naming of this hall, so that CPL Lahmann’s memory will live on here even as they have gone home to their loved ones. As we gather together in Lahmann Hall each Sunday for worship, and bible studies during the week, we honor his memory while rejoicing in knowing that this truly is the House of God, and His Presence is known to all who seek it here.

It's never as bad as you think it is

The Army has come out with yet another Suicide Prevention Training that we as Chaplains and Assistants are presenting to all of our Soldiers. Most of them hear that they have to sit through this class and their immediate reaction is groaning...they've heard it all before. They are tired of hearing the same thing over and over again. But yet, as they heard the same thing over and over again, Army related suicides and suicide attempts have drastically increased over the last 7 years, and we have yet to take care of our own to find a solution to this problem. The theme of this training is "Shoulder to Shoulder: No Soldier Stands Alone" I like the idea behind the theme, that we need to stand shoulder to shoulder, get close to each other, so close that we know what is going on with each other, that we know when someone is having a bad day, week, month, or whatever. We stand so close to each other that we know when something is wrong. This new training is not the Army's typical death by powerpoint where the Chaplain gets up and reads a bunch of slides saying the same thing over and over. This new training is focused on an interactive video based on real soldiers who either attempted, or committed, suicide. The soldiers being training take on the role of the soldier getting hit time and again to the point of feeling hopeless...and then they become the NCO looking out for their buddy who feels the same way. The point of the training is for the soldiers to make decisions that determine the outcome. If they choose the wrong path, the soldier dies. But if they make good decisions and seek or offer help when it is needed, they save the soldier's life. Its a really neat training, and I really like it. I probably won't be saying that by next Sunday, as I am finishing my 20th training of the same material, but it really is something different. Last night we trained our key leadership, and this morning we trained the first round of joes, and it seemed to go really well.

Unfortunately, for 2 soldiers in my battalion, this training may have come just 2 weeks too late. By God's Grace, we did not lose either soldier, but we have received a wake-up call that there are soldiers dealing with problems that we don't know about. There are soldiers putting up a good front, that everything is ok with them, when they are really hurting inside and need someone to talk to, someone to help them find a way to deal with the pain and hurt that they have bottling up inside. I ask each one of you who reads this to pray for these two soldiers, and for all the soldiers who are struggling with relationships back home, with the stress of deployment, the loss of loved ones, whatever they are struggling with. Please pray for them that they can find comfort and peace and that they can see that it really isn't all that bad, and there is hope, even in this desert.

Oh Joyous Lent

After 6 weeks here in wonderful Iraq, I've finally started to settle into the battle rhythm of our deployment. Its been busy, going with CH F to "pray out" missions, toting along a box of goodies--muffins, candy, and beef jerky mostly that the guys just snatch up for the short or long mission they are about to embark on. This week, I even went on one of these missions with CH F, to a small worksite near here where we have a small contingent of construction guys working. We visited them for a couple hours, then headed back, a nice short mission to start off my trips outside the wire.

I had a small scare before we left, nothing life-threatening or anything, but I have a small Benedictine Crucifix from Fr. B's Ordination that I have worn for for 4.5 years, and a St. Michael medal I got when I graduated from Basic Training. They mean a lot to me, as I value the spiritual direction and friendship I have received from Fr. B, and to have this small token to remind me of his ordination, the first ordination I had ever attended, helps me to get through (not to mention the great spiritual value of wearing a Crucifix to remind me of who I am and why I am here in the first place). As for the Saint Michael medal, it was a cheap 25cent medal I got to replace one my mom had gotten me before I left for Basic Training. The day I first started wearing that medal, I got into a car accident, actually I hit a deer that I swear was possessed, and that I was being spiritually attacked to keep me from embarking on my mission with the Army. I lost that medal about half-way through Basic Training, about the same time that I started to really struggle spiritually. The physical and mental aspects of Basic were easy for me up to that point, but then I started being tempted to quit, and really found it hard to hold onto the faith that had brought me into this position. Since getting the new medal, the only times I have really felt attacked like that have been when I have not worn it for extended periods of time. I lose the reminder of St. Michael's triumphant victory over evil, and find it easier to succomb to those temptations.

This is all wonderful, but I'm sure you are wondering what does it have to do with my first trip outside the wire. That morning, I had combined these two medals onto an extra ID tag chain that I have and added the parts of my Brown Scapular as well. Just before we had our final mission brief, I went to the latrine one last time. As I set me weapon down, I looked on the ground in front of me and saw a part of my scapular on the ground. I picked it up, pulled out the chain and saw that it had broken, and all that remained on it was the other part of my scapular. The crucifix and medal were nowhere to be found. I searched as best I could to no avail, but we had to get our gear on and get moving, so I had to give them up for lost. They stayed on my mind through most of the trip, and it was really upsetting to think that I had lost them.

When we returned, I went to my CHU to lay down for a few minutes before heading into the office. After dinner, when I returned to my CHU for the evening, I sat on my bed to take off my boots, and noticed something shiny next to my foot--my St. Michael medal! And under the bed was my Crucifix! I was soo happy to see them lying there, and I couldn't help but sit back and thank God for little graces that He sends when we need them.

The other big event of this week was Ash Wednesday. For me, this has always been a day that I participated in within the Catholic bubble, at my Catholic middle and high schools, and then at college. Last year, I wasn't able to make it to Mass for Ash Wednesday. But thankfully, CH F is very accomodating to allow me to go to Mass on Saturday evenings, and makes sure that I can go as long as there isn't anything big mission wise going on. I wasn't able to keep as strict of a fast as I normally do, even though I didn't do PT, I was feeling so weak at dinnertime, that I had a larger meal than I had wanted, but it was still considered fasting according to the Church's guidelines so I am not upset about it. CH F was curious how the Church calls us to fast, but we can still eat anything. He is so used to the stricter sense that fasting means not eating at all. He also finds it interesting that we are allowed to eat fish, because he grew up in a culture that considers fish to be meat as well.

I am used to having a few people question me on Ash Wednesday about the ashes on my forehead, but this year I think I had a record number. At first I was uncomfortable with this, since it seemed that they were exactly what the Gospel tells us not to do--being as the hypocrites who fast in public and all that. But then I accepted it as a teaching moment to reach out to soldiers who do not know the joys of lent. When someone asked me, I would take the time to explain the significance of the ashes, and the purpose of lent, and a few of them seemed interested, many not, but if one person learned anything then it was worth it. Besides, I wouldn't have had quite as many comments if I hadn't found out about having internet duty for 3 hours that night as I was getting ready to go take a shower and wash my face.

Welp, this post is getting long and rambly and I haven't even touched on the topic I wanted to...and its midnight so I should get to sleep. More to come...

Blessings from the Battlefield

So I have been gone for just over a month now and just realized that I hadn't even touched this blog. It is difficult because there are so many rules regarding what we can post on sites like this and what we can't.


We are finally pretty well settled into our routine here, although there are still some kinks working themselves out. Our route clearance team has been exceptionally successful in their first 2 weeks on the roads. We have had 3 incidences so far that did not go as well as they could have, but thankfully no one was seriously injured, only equipment. One soldier received some minor wounds last week, but he is already on his way back to duty. Praise God for all the blessings and the protection that he has already shown to us. We have the best equipment and the best training, and because our guys trust both of those things they are able to react as they need to and keep themselves safe. It is also heartwarming to note that everyday I see glimpses of God's presence in these guys as they prepare to go outside the wire, many of them have strong faith that gives them confidence as they roll out.

One of our primary missions as a chaplain and assistant is to pray for and with the soldiers heading outside the wire. We have soo many missions going out that it is impossible for us to be at every one, but we are able to get to a lot of them (they keep us busy running all over this COB trying to catch them before they load up and head out!). We also have a lot of great platoon sergeants and squad leaders in the units who step up and pray with the guys if we don't make it before they leave, which is also inspiring to see.

I wish this post could be longer, but I just learned that I have to do PT at 0545 in the morning with my platoon, and its already 2205 at night, so I will post this and say goodnight, until another time that I have a chance to post again...